Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Roach Motel


I recently read an article that said CERN will be running the LHC with the proton beam’s energy about fourteen percent higher than prior tests looking for evidence of the Higgs boson.  Every time physicists try any high energy experiment in an attempt to see the fundamental particles of the universe, some person invariably spreads a doomsday scenario.  My favorite of these canards involves a micro black hole.  The doomsayers claim that these tiny black holes would absorb all of the matter and energy surrounding it, destroying the earth and all who live here. 

Others disagree stating that if these micro black holes did exist that they would evaporate so quickly that you might not even know that one was ever there.  Still others claim that these black hole particles are purely theoretical, may not have ever existed, and certainly wouldn’t be created in any earth-bound experiment, considering the events in the universe which we have seen and measured without ever having witnessed one of these micro black holes.

Frankly I believe these particles do exist, that we’ve known about them for quite some time, and have even been using them in the United States since the 1970s.

There’s a type of insect trap that is known commonly as a roach motel.  The slogan for the most popular of these brands, the one whose name actually is Roach Motel, is, “roaches check in but they don’t check out.”  Not only is this a catchy slogan, but it is also absolutely true due to the physical laws of nature.

The reason that their slogan is true is that their particular insect trap actually contains a micro black hole.  When entering the plastic trap, a roach crosses the event horizon and is therefore unable to ever escape the trap. 

If you happen to use this type of device for home pest control, you should be excited that you are using some of the most advanced modern physics to keep your home bug free.  However, if you do have one of these traps, I implore you, and I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT TEAR OR OPEN THE PLASTIC COMPARTMENT WHICH SAFELY CONTAINS THE MICRO BLACK HOLE.  This would have catastrophic consequences to our local area of the galaxy.

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