Yelling at Cars

I often find myself yelling at cars when I’m driving.  I tend to use something I can see on the car to name it when I’m yelling.  Usually, around here, it’s the county sticker on the license plate (“Hey, Douglas county, it’s the pedal on the left!”).  If it’s a vanity plate, I’ll go with that (“Green means go, red means stop, D177W33D”).  If it’s an out of state plate, I usually go with that (“Well, you are from Alabama, so I should expect you to be slow.”)

This spring Georgia’s state legislature passed a bill that would allow citizens to replace the county sticker on the license plate with the motto, “in God we trust.”  Previously, those stickers were available for purchase for a dollar by those who wished to profess faith.  Frankly I think this gives us less useful information to give to the police when reporting a crime.  In the past, you could say something like, “the perpetrators left in a red Dodge Stratus with a broken left, rear taillight, and a Dekalb County plate starting with ‘AH’,” if you didn’t catch the whole license plate number.  Now, the sticker on the tag is a less useful descriptor.

It has, however, opened up a whole world of insults to hurl at other drivers as I found out this morning on my commute.  Right where I-20 westbound intersects the connector, some jackass had to immediately cut over two lanes, right in front of me, in order to stay on I-20 instead of merging onto 75/85 either north or south.  Immediately looked at the license plate and shouted, “In God we trust, huh?  Maybe next time you should trust a map.”

I can’t wait to try out some more.